12
Nov
09

Does Uncoupled Mean Unsuccessful?

climbingOf course after speaking to Hill Harper a few weeks ago, I had to read his book, “The Conversation.” Although it didn’t reveal anything too earth shattering, there were some interesting concepts within. Not the least of which was Hill’s proclamation that to be his best, he needs to find a suitable partner.

He pointed to Barack and Michelle Obama as an example of what can result in a healthy relationship. According to Hill, it’s unlikely Obama would be where he is today without the support of the now First Lady. Hill suggested that the majority of the great black men throughout time have been married.

If it takes a committed, romantic partnership for individuals to reach their full potential, where does that leave the single person?

Accepting that I may not be able to become the best me unless I’m wed, is a bitter pill for this SIS to swallow.

I’m sure there are many singles who’ve changed the world and left positive imprints in society, but for argument’s sake, let’s assume Hill’s revelation is truth.

What is a partner providing that enables his or her better half to excel?

I think “accountability” is one answer. When someone is alongside you to remind you of your goals, make sure you pursue them and actively help you, it’s a good chance you’ll go far.

Honestly, if there was someone living in my house nudging me to get on my grind everyday and reminding me of all that rides on my success, I’d probably hit that snooze button a little less.

However, I do have people in my life to fill that role. I have family and friends who help make sure I become the best me. I’ve shared my dreams with them, and I know what they’re trying to achieve. We support and help each other, whether that means just lending an ear or whether it means rolling up the sleeves and getting dirty.

Would we all go even further with spouses egging us on? Who knows? I may never know, but I do know I plan to go as far as possible, even without one.

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5 Responses to “Does Uncoupled Mean Unsuccessful?”


  1. 1 Nicolette Allen
    November 12, 2009 at 8:38 am

    Well, this has definately got me thinking. The relationship between Barack and Michelle is amazing. What they have is what I dream of in a relationship. I know it is not all peaches and cream but you can really see their strength, love and commitment to eachother. Yes, we all have people in our lives that fill certain roles for us but, there is nothing like having a man (in my case) to hold me, kiss me etc. Yes, my friends and family may compliment me on how I look but it is something different when a man does it. They fill a certain area that no one else can. I am a success without a man? yes, Am I a success with a man, yes. I can see it both ways.

  2. 2 sunnydelyte21
    November 12, 2009 at 12:56 pm

    I can kind of understand what he is saying, but I would have to read this book to get the full just of what he is saying. I think I am more successful without a man. For the past three going on four I have accomplished a lot of things then when I was with someone.

    Don’t get me wrong, I do think there is someone out there for me to make me a better me. But I can do it by myself just as well.

  3. 3 Lucy Van Pelt
    November 14, 2009 at 10:46 am

    Accountability may only be part of the reason. I think having someone else to worry about chores, bills, errands, etc… gives the married person time to focus on other areas. If you’re doing it all yourself, you may not have the time to work on career or other goals as much.

  4. November 17, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    I think it’s a slippery slope to start assuming that any of us would be more successful with a husband or wife. Traditionally, yes, a lot of high achievers have been married, but it’s only recently that so many people have started to remain single longer or never marry at all. Now when we look around, we see a lot of single, successful people, especially in sports and entertainment. In government, that may be less true only because politicians on the national level tend to be older, and the older you are, the more likely you are to be married. Another factor may be that the American electorate is biased toward married people and against singles.

    That’s not to say that a loving spouse CAN’T be very helpful, but I don’t think having one is necessarily going to make or break someone’s career. The opposite is also true–spouses can hold their partners back when they’re jealous, selfish, demanding, critical, etc.

  5. December 11, 2009 at 11:37 am

    Awesome, I did not heard about this topic up to the present. Cheers!!


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