Posts Tagged ‘date


The Church Factor: Helpful or Hurtful?

I participated in an online discussion recently, and this question was raised: Is the church one reason so many black women are single?

The answer to this question should probably be determined on a case-by-case basis. It’s possible that someone’s devotion to religious activities might keep her too busy to worry about romance, but I doubt that’s the norm. I’d argue that any divide between the church-going SIS and a fulfilling romantic relationship has more to do with that Christian woman’s spiritual standards and less to do with the actual church itself.

In my experience, the church doesn’t encourage women to remain single. I’ve found most focus the majority of their ministries on supporting marriage and family. However, it does advise Christians to live in a way that’s often contrary to society’s norms. The most obvious example would be that of premarital sex. While, it’s a popular and accepted practice these days (so much so that even adolescents on Teen Nick are with child or visiting the clinic for STD vaccines), many Christians believe that sex should be saved for marriage.

How many single men wanna hear that (… or women, for that matter)?

I’ve also met women who won’t date divorced men because these sistahs don’t believe the Bible condones it. Then, there are the lifestyle differences. If a woman is giving the church 10% of her income, it’s probably best she marry a man who also participates in tithing. If she doesn’t drink alcohol or listen to secular music, these lifestyle choices based on her beliefs, will likely greatly decrease her dating pool.

So, a Christian SIS may have certain standards that others, who have no spiritual expectations for their partners, might not have. The same goes for members of any religious faith.

While it may be true that one’s preference for a partner of a specific faith may limit her dating options, this SIS doesn’t think that the problem is with any particular belief system or religious institution.

It’s just another thing that helps determine when you’ve met “the one.” It’s something else you’ll share with your partner that indicates he might be Mr. Right.


Worst. Date. Ever.


I heard about this incident a few weeks ago on the radio, and the tale gets worse when you read the AP version of the story.

We’ve all had some pretty bad dates. I’ve had a guy enter my car with an open beer bottle. (Breaking the law is a good icebreaker.) Then, there was the guy who texted and answered his phones during our first – and only – movie date (…and people wonder why I go to the movies solo). The worst was the guy who asked me to meet him at his job, and then he ran out of gas before we could even pull out of his parking space (… at least the ‘date’ was not boring.)

As awful as all that is, the poor, single woman in this story experienced the hands-down worst date ever. If you use the phrase “grand theft auto” to describe your date to your girlfriends the next day, you have automatically earned a spa day. I’m going to guess this was an African American woman, but regardless, there are lessons to be learned by every woman.

The No. 1 Lesson: If I guy directs you to Buffalo Wild Wings on your first date, run like Flo-Jo in the opposite direction.

You post the other lessons. Oh, and share your worst date ever.

July 2018
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