24
Nov
09

Disowning a Homeowner Double Standard

Recently, a colleague of mine walked into the office fuming. On that particular morning, she’d been listening to the radio during her drive in, and she was disturbed when a fellow SIS called in to the station and was given a hard time by one of the radio personalities.

The young woman called in for home improvement advice, but instead of answers, she got questions: “Why don’t you have a man?” Then, the male DJ asked about her weight and cooking skills, suggesting that too much of one and not enough of the other could be the reason she’s in the home alone.

As my co-worker and I discussed how inappropriate the DJs comments were, I wondered: If you’re a single woman, what message does your home ownership send to others?

Because the caller that morning was single and owned her own house, the DJ assumed she was undesirable.

I’m not exactly sure how he made that connection, but the majority of the single women I know own the place where they reside because it makes sense, not because of any relationship issues. We’re all passed the point where living with our parents is acceptable, and while renting is an option, for a lot of us, the benefits of owning far exceed that arrangement.

…but why do I feel the need to justify this?

I’m thinking that if a single man with a house had called in that morning, he wouldn’t have been asked about his weight or about how well he changes the oil in his car. So, why did that DJ think it was acceptable to ask a SIS about her cooking skills when she was inquiring about knobs for cabinets?

I sense a double standard.

I’m not sure what type of underlying message people receive when they learn a SIS owns her own home. Maybe it is indicative of relationship issues for some women, but that seems like a stretch. What is more likely is that people, who make assumptions about others based on whether they rent or own, may have some serious issues of their own.

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7 Responses to “Disowning a Homeowner Double Standard”


  1. 1 Leslie
    November 24, 2009 at 10:50 pm

    Tell it! I couldn’t agree with you more!

    • 2 TMJohnson
      November 25, 2009 at 1:44 pm

      The DJ was out of line. I’m sick and tired of the mantra thrown at single black women for why they are single — can’t cook, overweight, has an attitude etc. On top of being disrespectful, the DJ couldn’t even come up with an original sentiment.

  2. 3 breakofdon
    November 29, 2009 at 5:32 pm

    Yeah, that DJ was lame. People who make assumptions about others based on whether they rent or own do have issues, indeed. There are plenty of losers that own houses and people who do everything they are supposed to and end up homeless.

    But I don’t see how a single attractive woman who is doing the damn thing can stay single for long.

  3. 4 JustMe
    November 30, 2009 at 12:16 pm

    This reminds me of something that happened to me several years ago. I was single and 25 and I had just bought my first home. I was really proud of myself! Well I was sharing this with an uncle of mine and he told me that owning my own house would limit my dating prospects. I’m pretty sure my chin dropped to the floor! Here I was excited about a major accomplishment and all he could say is that it might prevent me from finding a man! Of course he’s from a different generation but if owning my own home is seen as a negative then that’s not a man I would want to deal with anyway! Oh well.

    • 5 Sandy
      December 2, 2009 at 9:13 pm

      hmmm I’m 24 and agree wholeheartedly with your uncle’s sentiments. In fact, one of my close friends is 25 and considering purchasing her first home and I gave her a look of terror with a blatant “DON’T DO IT!” And, of course, her reaction was similar to yours… Nonetheless, she is currently single, will likely remain single for a while with her attitude. I know one thing, I wouldnt dare fix her up with one of my fiance’s friends.

  4. December 1, 2009 at 9:57 am

    Well This DJ (and all men in general) had better get used to this because it is a growing global trend! The November issue of Newsweek magazine talked about the worldwide growing financial power of women. Referring to the Goldman Sachs article in February 2009 called “The Power of the Purse”: more women are graduating from college than men, women do not need men any longer to make financial investments such as homes, and women are living longer than men. Check this out:

    25% of the homebuyers in the US are single women (never married, divorced or widows)compare that to only 9% of single men buy their own home. Single men may view it as something they should do when they get married and settle down, whereas single women see it as a sound financial decision, and something they should strive to do to establish their financial independence.

    our site is designed to provide support emotional and informational for women who like your friend want to own their own home. It is a network for women to connect with other women…

    As for DJ’s ignorant comments about why she wasn’t married: another case of male blindness…one day all of them will wake up and find out WOMEN RULE THE WORLD!!! 🙂

  5. December 17, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


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