Quit Hatin’ on Single People

Let me preface this by saying, I’ve no problem with married people. I hate to sound cliché, but some of my best friends are married!

However, it’d be easy for me to label all wed people as needy, dependent, insecure conformists who need marriage as a way to validate themselves as worthwhile human beings.

I could make assumptions about the character of husbands and wives based solely on their marital status, but that would be stupid. Right?

Guess what’s equally as stupid?

This recent article in The Huffington Post attacking single people, described us all as selfish, dishonest and shallow, among other things. I’m not going to pretend there aren’t some unattached people who fall into these categories, but I’m sure there are some married people for whom the shoe fits, too.

Fortunately for married people, society just assumes that they entered into the union because they fell in love.

Unfortunately for single people, it seems nearly impossible for the general public to believe that an unattached person could be perfectly pleasant and of good character. Instead, we must be majorily flawed.

Is it so hard to fathom that maybe a SIS just hasn’t met her match yet? Is it so difficult to wrap one’s mind around the fact that some folks don’t want to be married? Is it beyond the realm of reason that marriage might be an option for some and not a life requirement?

Is “you’re a bitch” really the only plausible explanation, as the article’s author suggests? I think not.

I have at least one friend who believes in aliens. From what I can tell, it’s easier for the masses to believe in Alf than it is for them to accept that it might take some single people a bit longer to fall in love.

However, instead of a little patience and acceptance from society, singles have to deal with prejudice. I’m obviously no MLK, but when people start targeting members of any specific group, it makes me wonder what exactly their problem is.

Other than the fact that maybe the author had a deadline to meet, what would motivate her to take the time and write about how damaged single people are? Obviously, there are some issues there.

Maybe the author is jealous of independent singles who aren’t desperate to wed. It’s possible she’s coming to terms with the fact that her third marriage has ended and is lashing out at the group her ex-husbands have chosen to join. There are endless explanations for her obvious hate.

I don’t know, but unlike her, I’ll refrain from making too many  judgments.


4 Responses to “Quit Hatin’ on Single People”

  1. February 23, 2011 at 11:22 am

    Very well put! I read that article when it came out and had the same thoughts. It’s just really sad. When you think of it, single people really have an advantage over those who are married – we have our freedom. Love and companionship is only a portion of what makes you who you are; it’s not everything. Thank you for bringing this subject matter to light and defending single men and women like myself.

  2. 2 Maggie
    February 23, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    Wait, ALF isn’t real? J/K. Excellent piece. 🙂

  3. 3 T. M. Johnson
    February 25, 2011 at 11:25 am

    It’s interesting that the writer of the piece on the Huffington Post is an “expert” on getting a husband (three to be exact). However, she can’t seem to keep one. Hmmm. This is an issue with a lot of the advice from relationship “gurus” — all the emphasis is on “getting” into a relationship, but not on sustaining one.

  4. 4 HeteroDON
    March 6, 2011 at 9:52 pm

    I got a little choked up on my wedding day for reasons I can’t really explain, but one of my friends who was engaged at the time came up to me at the reception just to poke a little fun, saying I lost all my cool points.

    I warned him. I was going to be at his wedding a few months later and I advised him that when he sees his woman coming down the aisle all dressed up that wedding dress that something was going to come over him. I advised him if he tears up to just let roll so he can get it together when its time to say the vows. he didn’t listen. When it came time for him to say his vows he choked up. Just like I thought. I didn’t even bother to tell him he lost his cool points. Its really a beautiful thing to see brothers stand up before god and everybody he knows and profess to love his woman forever (and vice versa).

    I am mentioning this because I think married people “pity” (for lack of better word) single people because married folks feel that they have something beautiful and probably think single people are missing out.

    The dating game is getting uglier not better. and the older you are the more people assume you are single for a reason. You might be a great catch but you are swimming in a pool full of fish that have been thrown back.

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