22
Nov
10

Waiting for Him to Pop the Question


The word “single” can be used to describe a few different relationship scenarios. You have those who don’t have a significant other and rarely date. There are singles who are too busy dating to even realize that they’re single, and there are those who are in a situation, but are technically unattached, according to the IRS.

Over the summer, it was reported that actress Zoe Saldana was engaged to a man she’d dated for 10 years.  That made me wonder about the latter group of singles – many of whom are with someone, but don’t have a commitment toward marriage.

If you’re a SIS who wants to get married, how long do you wait for your man to pop the question?

I don’t know Saldana’s situation. It’s quite possible that she was the one putting their relationship progress on hold, but most women I know who have boyfriends, would be less than enthused to wait a decade for a bona fide commitment.

However, in the case of Saldana, it seems patience paid off.

So, where does that leave the average SIS? Do you patiently wait and remain faithful to your man until he’s ready, whether that is five years or 15?

In the meantime, you’re fielding questions and skepticism from family and friends who are regularly interrogating you like a suspect on “Law & Order” and wondering what the holdup is.

Some would argue that it doesn’t take men that long to decide who they want to spend the rest of their lives with, but marriage is an important decision. So, maybe a decade worth of getting to know one another is warranted.

On the other hand, I personally know of several marriages that took place only six months after the two met, and the unions were long lasting. So, maybe a 10 year courtship is being overly cautious.

As with most issues within a relationship, only the two people in it can really decide what’s right for them. The problem comes when one person wants a commitment before the other is ready, and that’s when something usually has to change. That may mean compromising or just ending things. 

Being on the same page about how well you know one another and when walking down the aisle is appropriate, could very well be an indication of your compatibility and how you will work together when married. If seeing eye-to-eye on when to wed is a point of contention, then that may be a sign of something, too.

For more on this topic, click here:

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2 Responses to “Waiting for Him to Pop the Question”


  1. November 22, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    I think with each person it is different and can’t be defined.

    -Lucky

  2. January 2, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    I know women who’ve dated men for 3 months and those who’ve dated for 10 years before they got engaged. While, I think (actually I know) I wouldn’t wait 10 years, it very much depends on the person.

    Truthfully, at 30 after a year of dating someone and there was no talk or marriage, I’d keep it moving. My biological clock is ticking and I couldn’t imagine being in a relationship for 5+ years at this point in my life. I hope to have kids sooner than later, so I can’t really afford to play house with someone who isn’t interested in getting married within a reasonable amount of timne.


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