Tweaking the Girlfriend Rules for the 30-Somethings

Whether they’re de facto laws, verbally stated or even written down, most people are aware that there are certain rules when it comes to dating. For instance, it’s a violation to bring bridal magazines on the first date, so you and he and begin picking out colors the members of your wedding party will wear. Even if the periodicals are in your purse, don’t actually bring them to your date’s attention. Wait for the second date.

The dating rules between men and women are sometimes convoluted and often depend on the individuals involved and the specific circumstances, but when it comes to rules between friends who are both hunting for potential mates, the rules are hard and fast.

For example, if your best buddy is dating someone, you can’t date that same person.

That seems like a simple enough rule to follow. However, as you get older, the dating game gets tiring, and the pool of potentials shrinks. That’s when 30-something daters start to question whether those friendly rules of engagement should be broken?

Let’s examine a few of these dating rules and determine if they should be revoked.

Rule No. 1: Whoever Sees Him First Has Dibs – So, you’re out at a bar with your regular group, and you see a gorgeous potential spouse walk through the door. You’re mid sip on that drink you just ordered. You’re just about to gulp it down and verbally mark your territory, when your BFF declares, “He’s cute. I want to talk to him.” Now, you not only have a mouthful of martini to swallow, you also have to swallow that lump of disappointment and regret in your throat. The saddest aspect of this scenario is that even if he doesn’t seem too interested in your friend, the line has been drawn. Sadly, you can’t even flirt with him.

Rule No. 2: Approval Is Required – When you’re younger, your friends’ approval means a lot. You need that confirmation. You want to know they’re behind you. However, by the time you’re 30-something, you’ve likely questioned the influence you’ve allowed your friends to have on your life decisions, especially when it comes to dating. Let’s face it. These are the same girls who persuaded you to go out with the cute panhandler who flirts with you daily outside your office building.

What’s rule No. 3? Read the rest of this article here: 


4 Responses to “Tweaking the Girlfriend Rules for the 30-Somethings”

  1. November 16, 2010 at 10:59 am

    Interesting article. I was ready to read the whole thing.

    Approval of friends is nice, but as you said, the pool shrinks and it’s hard enough finding someone you will like. Getting your three girlfriends and your best guy buddy onboard may never happen! Go for what you know!

  2. November 16, 2010 at 12:07 pm

    Rule #2 should be re-looked at (in my opinion) although I have been married for almost 9 years, had I listened to my “then” friends I wouldnt be with him today. Sometimes you need to follow your heart/gut rather than the words of your friends 🙂 great blog

  3. 3 Leslie
    November 16, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    Rule number one is a tricky one… When does first dibs end? If he asks you for your number and your friend “called dibs” are you obligated to turn him down? So glad I do not have to contemplate this dilemma! LOL!
    As for number 2… I think it depends on your history of decision making vs. your friend’s. Do you consistently make bad choices in men? Maybe it’s time to listen to the advice of that friend who is always trying to steer you clear of pitfalls. On the flipside, if that friend is the one always cheering you on as you go down in flames against your better instincts… Definitely disregard.
    Number 3: Ahhh, the joys of DC dating… Well, I think it’s inevitable you’ll cross paths with someone’s ex. If it’s been a year since they were together, I say he’s back on the market and go for it! This of course does not apply to inner circle sister/friends. There, it’s all about being open and making sure your friend is truly over it. Okay, off my soapbox!

  4. 4 sistah1
    November 16, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    Leslie: Great points, and you’re right. Who would want the sloppy seconds left by inner circle/sister friends anyway? That’s just too much. LOL.

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