10
Nov
10

Tips From the Hook-Up Handbook

So, I am sort of in the midst of getting hooked up with a random guy. I describe him that way ‘cause so far there’s little to suggest we’d be compatible. I consider it a compliment that the girlfriend responsible wants me to meet this fellow. However, this reminds me of a past situation where I was encouraged to go out with a guy solely based on the fact that we were both single. Honestly, that’s not criterion enough for me to want to meet a guy. So, for future reference, here’s my “I have someone I want you to meet” checklist.

1. We must have something in common (other than being single): Does he like to write? Does he like museums, too? Do we each possess a dry sense of humor? Did we both shock you with our vast knowledge of ‘80s hip hop? If you’ve answered yes to these questions, then maybe I’d like to meet this guy. If the only similarity between us is that neither of us has plans for Valentine’s Day, then I’ll pass.

2. He has to meet your standards: If you know you’d never date this guy, even if you two were the last two living beings on the planet, then please don’t pass him my way. If he’s still living at home, has six children by four different women, and you have cause to question his sexuality, I take back my earlier sentiment about considering the hook up a compliment. I’m now insulted.

3. He has to be 100% single: My life is pretty drama free. Don’t introduce me to the guy who saw me on your Facebook page and asked for a hook up even though he’s still in a situation. I don’t want to create any love triangles or get involved with any guy who’s not only carrying around baggage, but is struggling trying to make room to stuff more crap in. I’ll stay where I am where it’s nice and roomy.

If the guy stands up to these top 3 criteria, I’ll be more than happy to take it from there.

At the risk of never being hooked up again, I’m posting this for every SIS out there who has been set up with a guy only to sit there wondering what in the world your friend was thinking when she decided to match you with him! The truth is that, she probably didn’t give it too much thought. She saw two pleasant single people, and decided to channel her inner Chuck Woolery. Don’t look at it as a personal reflection on you. Just send her this entry to help guide her if you think she might try it again. She’ll get the point.

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4 Responses to “Tips From the Hook-Up Handbook”


  1. 1 Machelle Thomas
    November 10, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    If I have told you my life story, about what I want in that sufficent other(male)then please don’t bring me someone that does not have the qualities I am hoping for, because it will be a disappointment for us both.I would enjoy dating that man that will be in my life,who will become my special someone,my only one,my number(1)Yes,see that’s what I’m talking about!I am just feeling good on the inside and on the outside too!!!talk to you later…

  2. November 10, 2010 at 3:16 pm

    There have been times my friends introduced me to someone and I still give them the side-eye every time they mention a guy to me.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate
    Tiffany

  3. 3 blackbarbiekj
    November 11, 2010 at 12:02 pm

    Amen! I got one sentence for being hooked up …

    “Single Don’t Mean Desperate!”

  4. November 11, 2010 at 1:30 pm

    Had to put a stop to being hooked up by friends too…after a few failed attempts.


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