When the Male BFF Finds Love…

Sometimes I miss my male friends. No, I don’t mean guys I dated, and I don’t think they were guys who wanted anything romantic from me. They were just friends of the opposite sex. We could call each other at God-awful times of the morning to bout insomnia. We went to movies together and pimped one another for valuable relationship advice. They were fellas available to help move heavy loads and change the oil in the car.

That was before she came along.

I don’t mean to hate on my male friends’ S.O.s. Most of them are lovely ladies who’ve made my friends’ lives better, but when your male BFF gets tied down, it changes things. You can’t call him at 3 a.m. The two of you can no longer chill on the couch and watch a movie. My oil changes are now done by strangers at the Jiffy Lube.

Friendships change and evolve. That’s part of life. When my girlfriends married, that required some adjustment, too.  They had to check hubby’s calendar before committing to specific dates, and they were a little more reserved on our infrequent nights out. So, it shouldn’t be a big deal or much of a surprise that my relationships with my guy friends also change when they marry.

However, it feels a little different. Maybe that’s because when you’re both single, it doesn’t matter whether outsiders think there might be something romantic going on between you and your platonic male friend, but once he’s committed to that special someone, it most certainly does.

Now, part of your friendship includes making sure his girl is comfortable with your relationship. You make sure you don’t hug him too long or too tight. You make a point to add her name to all invitations. You find someone else to take you to the airport, and when you have insomnia, you don’t bother dialing his number; you blog.


3 Responses to “When the Male BFF Finds Love…”

  1. 1 Monique
    August 25, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    I miss my male friends so much these days. I miss their advice and just big brotherly protectiveness of me. They truly were great friends. As we’ve gotten older, we’ve grown apart. Careers, marriage, children, life. we still try to at least email each other once every blue moon to say hello.

  2. August 25, 2010 at 11:09 pm

    This is so true, I love my male friends, they are so easy going, and we have so much fun together. But when they get into a relationship its hard when I have to share them, but I love when they find really cool girls to be with who will also be my friend too, so they don’t become jealous and tell him to stop being my friend.

  3. August 27, 2010 at 7:53 am

    I’m a guy and hope my comment is welcomed. I had/have many female friends and when relationships change you have to adapt or find a fist in your face. It’s hard sometimes but if they are in a committed relationship, especially marriage, the new man in her life needs to become the best friend in every aspect. Again it hurts but that as I’ve heard, is life.

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August 2010
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