So, I recognize that I can’t speak for every woman in the world. There are females out there who truly don’t mind being a Jump Off and who really do date “like men.” They don’t get emotionally attached to their flings, and move on from them as easily as Nikki Minaj changes wigs.
However, I’d venture to say that not too many women are satisfied with the Friends With Benefits (FWB) relationship. It rarely works. Why not? Here’s my take.
The Next Man: So, you’re in this FWB arrangement when you meet a guy who makes you wanna change your last name, first name and middle name, too. Do you keep things status quo with your buddy while the possible man of your dreams is smacking your ankles with a broom tryin’ to sweep you off your feet? That seems a little shady. Do you end things with FWB right away, or do you simply explain to the new guy that you’re a bit casual with yours, which few good guys consider a selling point? No matter which you decide, it can be a messy transition.
The ‘Other Lover’: When it comes to FWB, the “other lover” who ruins the relationship is the one the guy you’re laying next to might be respectfully courting while he’s treating you more like … his hand. Is he really wining and dining a woman he hopes to be serious about while reaping the benefits of your arrangement? It’s possible, and that gnawing question is often enough to make any SIS go “Fatal Attraction” on a brutha. It’s not that you’re feelin’ him, but that’s just a little disrespectful. No?
The Feelings Factor: Whether he catches feelings or the SIS does, usually one party starts to enjoy the FWB’s time a little more than the other. One’s fantasizing about turning the relationship into something more serious, while the other’s wondering why time outside the bed seems to be increasing. You’ve seen “Boomerang.” Whether you’re Eddie, Halle or Tisha yelling over the back fence, someone gets hurt.
Bottom Line: It takes a special woman to handle the FWB relationship. I’m not knocking those who make it work, and even a committed relationship faces challenges, but if you’re going to have intimate issues with somebody, this SIS thinks it might as well be an honest-to-goodness boyfriend.