Are You Dating For Convenience?

When you think about the world 100 years ago — before Southwest Airlines could get you across the country for less than $200, before the Internet enabled minute-by-minute updates on friends who live hours away, when a subscription to National Geographic was the primary way small towners learned about the outside world — it’s easy to understand why a single girl in the early 1900s might end up married to a guy who grew up on the farm right across the road.

It also makes you wonder about modern-day dating. In an age where long-distance relationships should theoretically be a snap, I’ve noticed more and more that men who approach me inquire about where I live almost before they ask me my name.

The last two guys I dated lived no more than five miles away from me. I’m sure they liked me, but how much did proximity have to do with our spending time together?

I’ll admit that when dating guys who lived about an hour away from me, it was a task scheduling blocks of time that would make the time we spent together worth the hours it took to hook up.

I wonder if our unwillingness to date someone who lives more than a quarter-tank of gas away affects our dating options.

I guess in a society where folks spend the majority of the day at work and then try to fit in some “me” moments or time with homies, it fits into people’s schedule better if meeting their objects of affection is only a five minute drive, as opposed to an hour-long ordeal.

However, are we limiting our dating options even more when we look for potential mates with the same zip code, or – like those single folks at the turn of the last century – is it likely that our perfect match is really right down the street?

As a co-worker expressed to me recently, no one said meeting your perfect match would be easy. So, this SIS thinks being open to date people a little farther from home is a good idea. Yes, it might make the days longer, and it might take a little more to keep your tank full as a result, but we’re talking about finding love, not a drycleaner.

Besides, if that person across the bridge or in the next county is truly your perfect match, then the extra effort to spend time together is worth it. Right?


4 Responses to “Are You Dating For Convenience?”

  1. July 3, 2010 at 8:07 pm

    LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS ROCK! People who live close by always want to barrow sugar, flour, and your bed. I’m just saying.

    Great blog, as always…you can’t have all three.

    Like it. Love it. Roll with it.

  2. 2 T. M. Johnson
    July 6, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    It’s like the old saying, “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. I think some time apart can make a relationship stronger and make those involved appreciate each other more. Sometimes close proximity can lead to folks taking each other for granted.

  3. July 6, 2010 at 5:32 pm

    With the exception of dating the woman who became my (ex-)wife, I’ve never dated a woman who lived within fifty miles of my home. It’s not that I planned it like that. Thing have just wound up that way. They’ve been good relationships, not long-lasting ones but good ones. I’ve find memories of them all. Even the break-ups have been amicable, just a decision to go separate ways, very little in the way of drama. (Emotional, yes. Drama, no.)

    I agree with T.M. Johnson. “Sometimes close proximity can lead to folks taking each other for granted.” That’s a pretty accurate observation.

  4. 4 realdonwhenyouseejuan
    July 8, 2010 at 11:53 am

    I dunno. Nothing beats having your boo nearby on a stormy night. It provides for a certain spontaneity that you just don’t get when you gotta cross a bridge or, heaven forbid, a mountain range.

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