Would You Break Up a Union?

I was at the hair salon for about 10 hours last night, and at one point, the drama between Gabrielle Union, Dwayne Wade and his soon-to-be ex-wife Siohvaughn, whose name is easier to write than it is to pronounce, became a hot topic.

I know, based on last night’s conversation, that my opinion on this matter is not the popular one. According to his statement, Wade would disagree with me, too. In his response to his wife’s lawsuit against Union for “emotional distress,” he referred to Union as “innocent.”

For the record, I don’t have anything against Union (except for her role in “Meet Dave”), and I understand that Wade carries the majority of the responsibility for the end of his marriage since he’s the one who broke vows. However, as a single woman, I would not consider myself blameless for engaging in a romantic relationship with another woman’s husband.

I don’t want to be judgmental. I know things happen. I have friends who have found themselves in relationships with men who go home to wives at night. It’s not anything my friends ever took lightly and most of them were looking for a way out – at least by the time I learned about it.

I’ve also heard of strong relationships that started out as affairs and are now the stuff fairy tales are made of.

However, I strongly believe that if there weren’t so many mistresses around, there might be a decrease in the divorce rate in our community. I’m not being sexist. I believe this goes both ways.

We often hear statistics about the breakdown of the black family, and a SIS dating a married man is more so being part of the problem, not the solution.

The argument I usually hear is that the marriage was circling the bowl even before a third party was introduced. That may be true, but from what husbands and wives have expressed to me about marriage, hard times aren’t uncommon. I think things have a better chance of working out if there isn’t someone waiting in the wings.

Personally, I feel it is my responsibility to turn away the men with gold bands. If I decide not to do that, then I am partly at fault for whatever happens to that wife and her children as a result of my decision.

If she wants to sue me, I can’t really be angry about that.

I’ve been approached by a few married guys. At least one of them made it clear to me that cheating on his wife had become normal for him. We’re no longer on speaking terms; although, we’d been platonic friends for years as teens before reconnecting as adults. I’m thankful he let me know exactly where he was coming from.

As far as I know, he and his wife are still together, for better or worse. If they do end up divorced, I know I don’t have to worry about any lawsuits.


4 Responses to “Would You Break Up a Union?”

  1. 1 SistahEsq
    May 6, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    AMEN! I’m not trying to sound preachy and I’m not being judgmental either BUT why would you establish a relationship with a KNOWN cheater. If he’s cheating on her he will surely cheat on you. Also, what goes around comes around. Hello?! Do unto others as you would have them do unto you… Duh?! You KNOW you aren’t right if you are flirting with, establishing close friendships with, going out with, sleeping with or otherwise engaging someone elses man. You’re wrong. Period. He’s wrong too, but that’s far to obvious to discuss. Again, not trying to sound preachy!

  2. 2 Dani
    May 11, 2010 at 10:24 am

    I am in complete agreement with you.

  3. May 11, 2010 at 6:12 pm

    I totally agree with you. I think is is morally wrong for a woman or man to engage in a romantic relationship with someone that is married. I think part of the problem is that some people are too caught up in their selfish ways and the thrill that is associated with messing around with someone that’s married. They care less about what they’re doing at someone’s expense. If a guy were to approach me, I don’t want to her his reasoning as to why he’s out looking for “love” and satisfaction whether he’s married or in a relationship. Once he confirms that he’s in any type of relationship–be it through body language or admitting it directly–he becomes oblivious to me!

  4. 4 Bree
    July 23, 2010 at 6:15 pm

    I agree with sistah-esq.

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