I’m not sure I consider myself in search of a man. If one comes along and expresses interest, I’m certainly open to it, but I wouldn’t put myself in the same category as TLC’s Chilli, who is actively in pursuit of a guy in her reality series, “What Chilli Wants.”
I don’t know whether there’s anything wrong with Chilli or not, but I do think the assumption that she is single because she is flawed, is a huge one.
It’s an assumption that the R&B star’s adviser made about 90 seconds into the series premiere (and in the show’s trailer above). She said, “Usually, if you can’t find the right man, there’s something wrong with you.”
I’ll admit, Chilli is portrayed as a tad too picky in the show, but isn’t it also possible that the right man just hasn’t crossed her path yet?
People have different goals and dreams throughout their lives. Some take longer to achieve than others. For example, Halle Berry won her Oscar when she was around 36. Was something wrong with her ‘cause she didn’t win one before that time? Other actresses received their trophies while they were in their twenties. Does that reflect on Halle? I wouldn’t say so.
So, why does an older woman (Chilli is pushing 40.) who hasn’t yet achieved marriage – and that’s not to imply that every woman is striving toward that goal – have to have something wrong with her? Maybe she’s just as “talented” as the 20-something brides, but just hasn’t been presented with an Oscar worthy role yet.
While I’m sure there are probably a good number of relationship-hungry singles still unhitched because they have issues, I’m just as sure there are a lot out there who are perfectly well-adjusted but haven’t met their matches. Surely, not all single people have something wrong with them.
Besides, I’m not knocking the married folks, but there are plenty out there who would fall into the “something wrong with” them category. Dennis Rodman got married in a white wedding dress, proving that (1) white no longer represents “purity” and (2) marriage is not confirmation that the wedded are any more sane than the rest of us.