Ain’t Nothing Wrong With You, Girl … Probably

I’m not sure I consider myself in search of a man. If one comes along and expresses interest, I’m certainly open to it, but I wouldn’t put myself in the same category as TLC’s Chilli, who is actively in pursuit of a guy in her reality series, “What Chilli Wants.”

I don’t know whether there’s anything wrong with Chilli or not, but I do think the assumption that she is single because she is flawed, is a huge one.

It’s an assumption that the R&B star’s adviser made about 90 seconds into the series premiere (and in the show’s trailer above). She said, “Usually, if you can’t find the right man, there’s something wrong with you.”

I’ll admit, Chilli is portrayed as a tad too picky in the show, but isn’t it also possible that the right man just hasn’t crossed her path yet?

People have different goals and dreams throughout their lives. Some take longer to achieve than others. For example, Halle Berry won her Oscar when she was around 36. Was something wrong with her ‘cause she didn’t win one before that time? Other actresses received their trophies while they were in their twenties. Does that reflect on Halle? I wouldn’t say so.

So, why does an older woman (Chilli is pushing 40.) who hasn’t yet achieved marriage – and that’s not to imply that every woman is striving toward that goal – have to have something wrong with her? Maybe she’s just as “talented” as the 20-something brides, but just hasn’t been presented with an Oscar worthy role yet.

While I’m sure there are probably a good number of relationship-hungry singles still unhitched because they have issues, I’m just as sure there are a lot out there who are perfectly well-adjusted but haven’t met their matches. Surely, not all single people have something wrong with them.

Besides, I’m not knocking the married folks, but there are plenty out there who would fall into the “something wrong with” them category. Dennis Rodman got married in a white wedding dress, proving that (1) white no longer represents “purity” and (2) marriage is not confirmation that the wedded are any more sane than the rest of us.


6 Responses to “Ain’t Nothing Wrong With You, Girl … Probably”

  1. 1 Machelle Thomas
    April 18, 2010 at 8:16 pm

    I can understand somewhat where she is coming from with how she wants her man to be this way.But if that’s so then there is a possibly she will meet that one who is just for her.I,myself would like someone who we have things in common with each other not where he has to be just right.He has to be right in the mind where we are on the same page so to speak.I’m just saying!

  2. April 19, 2010 at 3:16 pm

    Preach! Why must I have issues if I’m single? Some of us are happily single indeed!

  3. 3 La
    April 20, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    I don’t at all subscribe to the theory that something must be “wrong” with you if you are a certain age and single. Some people aren’t meant to be married by 25; some people aren’t meant to be married AT ALL.

    The problem I had with Chilli’s show however was that it is another prime example of confusing wants with deal breakers. I really WANT a man who will travel with me because I want to see the world. However it is not a DEALBREAKER because I will see the world even if he doesn’t. Chilli WANTS a man who doesn’t eat pork, but for the life of me, outside of if she was ahrdcore vegan activist who saw eating of any animal product of cruelty, which she does not, I cannot understand why this would be a DEALBREAKER for her. If I were her, and I found a man who was smart, and compassionate, and kind, and God fearing, and committed, and good to my son, there is NO WAY IN HELL I would pass him up because he likes ribs on the 4th of July, lol.

  4. 5 Shennen Arreola
    April 25, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    I think Chilli should have a check list and be as picky as she wants to be. Never settle for less. Her beauty ranks right up there with Tyra Banks, Hallie Berry, and Vanessa Williams. I think it’s great that she knows what she wants. Granted she may not find it tomorrow or even as fast as she desires but getting what you want is worth the wait. I don’t want to see her stoop to the other “love” shows VH1 has produced. The love of Ray J was a joke. No disrespect to Ray J’s fine self. However, love comes when you least expect it. If you win it on a show, it’s not love, it’s obsession, infatuation or whatever you want to call it but NOT love. Chilli deserves better than that. She has worked hard to get where she is and deserves a man that can appreciate her for who she is and meets her expectations. She will know him when she meets him. Floyd needs to get over himself but even if he did pull his head out of his rear end, he messed up. The biggest mistake a man can make with a woman like Chilli is disappoint her. Now there is no going back. Chillli needs to hold out the right one will come along.

  5. 6 27moni
    August 21, 2011 at 3:28 am

    i’d have to agree somewhat. That most likely the right man just has not come along but on the other hand there is also the common denominator theory. Meaning that if you have been in relationship after relationship and all of them end in horror, you may have to take a good long look at your self in the mirror and say “am i the problem?”. I’ve seen many sistahs run good men off because of constant nagging and drama unknowingly, then wonder what went wrong.

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