I have a friend who complains that she only seems to attract older men, like guys she would probably address as “Mister” if they weren’t hitting on her. Another friend has to beat the married fellas off with a stick, and I’ve noticed that I seem to attract the in-transition guys – the ones who realize their days of playa-hood are almost over, but are trying to squeeze every last drop of it out before settling down.
So, after recognizing a pattern in the sort of people she attracts, a SIS has to ask herself what is it about me that draws these types?
One of my friends theorizes that we sometimes attract what we fear the most. So, if you’re worried about having to support a man, the jobless will find you irresistible. Is there some validity to this? Can we be so focused on what we absolutely do not want that we subliminally attract just that?
I’m not sure, but it would explain why my homie, who’s a sucker for chivalry, continues to pull in the guys who wouldn’t think to open her car door even if she were trapped inside with Cujo.
I do think that when you meet someone who possesses a trait or characteristic you want to avoid, you’re likely to take special note of it. So, it might not be that you’re only attracting your undesirable sorts. It could just be that when they do pay you attention, it knocks you in the face like Debo did Red in “Friday.”
Either way, I’m thinking it’s good to know what you do and don’t want in a friend or potential mate, but it’s probably more beneficial to focus on the positives. It might not improve your options too much, but it’s likely that the people you want to attract are drawn to glass-half-full folks. So, walking into a room thinking about the new friends you’re going to meet with all their wonderful qualities, is probably a better look than just hoping to repel the undesirables.