Folks say there’s some truth to every joke. So, when a TV host recently rebutted the idea of soul mates, I wondered: Is there such a thing? His take, “It doesn’t exist. Find someone you can tolerate. Keep it simple. Find someone you can sleep next to without throwing up and marry them.”
If he’s right, then a lot of single people out here waiting for “the one” may be holding out for an ideal that doesn’t exist.
So, what does that mean? Should a SIS not be looking for a yin to her yang? Is it self sabotage to want a guy who is a perfect match? Is it too much to ask to meet someone you’re actually excited about, as opposed to just someone who’s tolerable?
If those are all unrealistic expectations, then maybe the TV host is right, and the concept of a soul mate is as ridiculous as the idea that Prince Charming will show up on a white horse with a bouquet of flowers to whisk his princess off to Happily Ever After.
So, once again, I turned to my own personal wives club for their take. Have my homegirls with husbands actually found their soul mates, and if so, how did they know “he” was “the one”?
The unanimous answer from my friends with ring bling was that soul mates are a reality. The word “effortless” popped up a few times to describe such a relationship. According to them, it should be comfortable, like chillin’ with a BFF.
Danielle, who has been married for nearly a decade, said, “You want to share EVERYTHING going on in your life with that person because you KNOW he will just get it! In short, if this person could be/is your best friend, then he’s the one for you.”
Denise, who’s going on nine years, described a soul mate as, “A person who loves you when you’re at your best, and still loves you just as much when you’re at your worst.”
Awww. Sweet. Right?
I’d say that belief in this sort of “soul mate” is a positive thing for singles. If not, then what’s your litmus test for potential mates? If acceptable and tolerable are the only requirements, then you may be selling yourself a bit short.