Do Soul Mates Really Exist?

Folks say there’s some truth to every joke. So, when a TV host recently rebutted the idea of soul mates, I wondered: Is there such a thing? His take, “It doesn’t exist. Find someone you can tolerate. Keep it simple. Find someone you can sleep next to without throwing up and marry them.”

If he’s right, then a lot of single people out here waiting for “the one” may be holding out for an ideal that doesn’t exist.

So, what does that mean? Should a SIS not be looking for a yin to her yang? Is it self sabotage to want a guy who is a perfect match? Is it too much to ask to meet someone you’re actually excited about, as opposed to just someone who’s tolerable?

If those are all unrealistic expectations, then maybe the TV host is right, and the concept of a soul mate is as ridiculous as the idea that Prince Charming will show up on a white horse with a bouquet of flowers to whisk his princess off to Happily Ever After.

So, once again, I turned to my own personal wives club for their take. Have my homegirls with husbands actually found their soul mates, and if so, how did they know “he” was “the one”?

The unanimous answer from my friends with ring bling was that soul mates are a reality. The word “effortless” popped up a few times to describe such a relationship. According to them, it should be comfortable, like chillin’ with a BFF.

Danielle, who has been married for nearly a decade, said, “You want to share EVERYTHING going on in your life with that person because you KNOW he will just get it! In short, if this person could be/is your best friend, then he’s the one for you.”

Denise, who’s going on nine years, described a soul mate as, “A person who loves you when you’re at your best, and still loves you just as much when you’re at your worst.”

Awww. Sweet. Right?

I’d say that belief in this sort of “soul mate” is a positive thing for singles. If not, then what’s your litmus test for potential mates? If acceptable and tolerable are the only requirements, then you may be selling yourself a bit short.


6 Responses to “Do Soul Mates Really Exist?”

  1. March 8, 2010 at 5:15 pm

    Looking at my parents, who just celebrated 25 years of marriage, I do believe soulmates exist. Now does everyone find their soulmate is the question?

  2. 2 La
    March 10, 2010 at 4:36 pm

    I believe soulmates exist. But I don’t neccessarily cop to the idea of The One. To me they are 2 different concepts; your soul can feel connected to more than one person. I think the idea that there is only ONE person in ALL the world right for you is absurd.

    I don’t want to marry someone I can just tolerate. I can tolerate myself; no need in spending money on a wedding for that, lol

  3. 3 SistahEsq
    March 14, 2010 at 11:19 pm

    I love this post! I’ve been doing some serious “soul” searching on this topic for a few years now. I maintain that soulmates do exist, settling is unacceptable and there is the perfect “one” out there for all of us. I hope I’m right, b/c if I’m not, I’ve surely missed out on some great people. Best friends, loving each other unconditionally and not being able to imagine life without that person…my definition of a soul mate!

  4. 4 dizzlepizzle
    March 30, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    I suppose so.

    But I always wondered if my ‘soul mate’ was my fem twin. …. like a sexy ass d.parker but in heels and a pencil skirt. Or is she the anti-me. The yin to my yang?

    I think my girl might the closest thing to a soulmate I’ve known. But I can’t say that is all there is to it. There are still days I think about pushing her in front of a train …. lol. But we are so much alike I might end up on the tracks myself

  5. 5 chelle
    March 31, 2010 at 8:20 am

    yes i believe soulmates exist,but u may not end up with that person b/c when they were in your life u didnt recognize the fact that person was there for that purpose…i dont know love is a funny thing, cant wait to find “the one”

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