Is Cheating Just Par for the Course?

I’ve come to the conclusion that I must be jaded. I’m aware that I’m a bit of a cynic, but after the public’s reaction to Tiger Woods’ infidelity, I think my lack of faith in folks might be an extreme case.

When the news first broke about Tiger’s affairs – and I didn’t use “alleged,” since he publicly admitted to them – I wasn’t shocked. It’s not that I expected for Tiger to cheat, but why would I assume that he wouldn’t?

He’s a wealthy, powerful, attractive man with lots of money. It’s not right, but I’m sure he gets plenty of offers from a plethora of women with a variety of motives. Is there some reason he was expected not to go where thousands – possibly millions – of men in his same situation have gone?

I won’t go so far as to call it “typical,” and I’m sure it’s devastated those close to him, but the idea that random folk on the street are grasping their pearls, baffles me.

However, the more I think about it, the more I worry about my apathy.

Shouldn’t I be shocked and appalled by a family man’s cheating? Shouldn’t infidelity always be met with indignation? What does it say about me that the whole thing doesn’t rouse more than a shrug of my shoulders?

Have my expectations that people keep the vows made in front of family and friends – and in some cases God – been lowered to the point that such offenses are par for the course?

I’m afraid the answer might be, “yes,” but like Tiger trying to perfect his golf swing, I’m going to work on this. I’d like to believe that most people in committed relationships are faithful. If marriage is in my future, I don’t want to walk into it expecting the vows to be broken. That’s a recipe for failure.

I don’t really know how to “fix” this particular lack of faith. Maybe I should spend more time with happily married couples. I could join in the discussions of outraged Woods’ haters. What’s the first step? Well, I’ll consider this a start.


7 Responses to “Is Cheating Just Par for the Course?”

  1. 1 MSJNT
    February 19, 2010 at 9:47 pm

    Great minds think alike. For me, I been a victim of infidelity. I do feel like it is par for the course. I wasn’t shocked at the cheating allegation nor the amount of women. Tiger is not ugly. I think the ones who were outraged the most were White people and Black women. All the women that he cheated with looked the same: White, trashy, with Porn Star attributes. Somewhere there is a breakdown in a marriage or a relationship where there is always one that wants to work it out and the other wants to escape. I felt that Tiger shouldn’t have apologize to no one but his wife. The media dug and dug for a story after the accident (in front of his house), bated all the women he slept with, and we had to be subjected to Gloria Allred. Tiger is a man. He is not perfect. Elin is a woman. She is not perfect. I hope that they can weather the storm and not falter to all of the pressure.

  2. 2 breakofdon
    February 19, 2010 at 11:37 pm

    I give young dudes the benefit of the doubt when it comes to cheating on the strength that barely post adolescent males have little to no d1ck control. But i can’t wrap my head around grown ass men doing it; maybe because I’m not married.

    I asked asked one of my boys at what point does a brother feel like he has had enough “new new.”
    His response was “never!!!!” – Makes me pray for sons and not daughters.

  3. 3 weezy
    February 20, 2010 at 4:17 pm

    I think as long as we expect men (rich or not) to cheat, we make it OK for them to do it. He’s a man. Men cheat. The “boys will be boys” attitude is pretty tired. You don’t cheat because you have a penis. You cheat, among other invalid reasons, out of selfishness.

  4. 4 Leslie
    February 21, 2010 at 5:59 pm

    I do believe it’s possible to be faithful no matter the temptations thrown your way. But I think it’s a totally individual decision formed by experience,exposure, values and a host of other factors. Much like you though girl, I’m no longer shocked at the very idea of someone cheating. I think your perspective is just realistic. It happens. Why pretend it doesn’t? That in no way means you can’t find a faithful man. Just means you’re aware that some men/women are faithful and some aren’t. That’s life.

  5. 5 blackbarbiekj
    February 22, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    I agree with the writer (blogger) … have we all just gotten use to this behavior?

    I heard an interesting topic on the radio… if Ellin had that many partners exposed while married to Tiger what would have been his reaction?

    Is this type of behavior more justified with men and especially athletes?

    I must be jaded as well. I was not surprised at the “news.” I don’t think its right but i wasn’t surprised. Does that make my feelings just as bad as his actions?

  6. 6 SistahEsq
    February 24, 2010 at 10:25 pm

    First, I will acknowledge that Tiger’s cheating is none of my business. There.
    With that being said, I was one of the extremely disappointed people —so sad to hear about his infidelity. I’m not mad at the public’s reaction. I only hope that all other public figures are met with the same disgust Tiger faced, if/when they stray. It may actually help us as a society. I think if we continue to be shocked and appalled and publicly disappointed, then maybe as a society our expectations will slowly change….Maybe, instead of assuming most cheat, we will assume most dont…and when they do, it will truly be unacceptable.

    So let’s keep the momentum going. “Shame on you, Tiger!!”

  7. March 3, 2010 at 9:38 pm

    nice article good work

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