I don’t believe the hype. A lot has been written and reported about the shortage of good, black men, but I believe I know more than a handful of top-notch brothers. They’re colleagues, former classmates, neighbors and relatives who are kind, honest, helpful, supportive, respectful of women and socially aware.
Does that make them good men? By my definition, I’d say so. However, I decided not to rely solely on my own opinion. So, I asked a few of my fella friends to share their thoughts. They obliged. See? Good guys.
In your opinion, what does “good black man” mean”?
Ajamu, 37: A “good black man” is one who is responsible, respectful, ambitious, humble and willing to improve.
BP, 28: A “good black man” differs based on what that woman is looking for. Generally, it’s a man who’s respectful, has a good head on his shoulders, career-driven, honest, drama-free, and can actually commit to a woman. Notice, I didn’t mention money. I don’t think that signifies a “good black man.”
There were more responses, but basically, more of the same. However, I found their answers revealing because it turns out their definitions don’t vary much from mine. So, if both the guys and girls know what a good black man is, why do so many sistahs struggle to make a connection with one?
Why do you think sistahs struggle to find what they want?
Corey, 29: Is it really a good, black man you’re looking for, or is it a good black man with all the extra stuff? LOL. I mean, that’s like saying there are no good tables. There are plenty of good tables. It’s just that some you may find ugly, and they don’t go with your décor. For the most part, if the table is sturdy, and you can eat off it, it’s a good table. Maybe people should stop saying there are no good black men and just say they haven’t met the one for them yet. It could really make the dating experience a lot simpler and less stressful.
Seriously. I’m not sure I could have put it better myself.