I hate to be real critical on this point because if I were a dude and “burdened” with making the first move 90% of the time, I might run out of ideas about how to approach the opposite sex myself.
Luckily, I only have to worry about eye contact. 🙂
With that said, I want to list some approaches that I think men should avoid.
(1) The Drive-By Holla: So, I’m driving to work, and I happen to look to the right, or maybe I hear a honk, and a guy in the next car waves at me with a wink and a nod. So, even if he were cute, what is a girl supposed to do? Am I supposed to stop my car, get out and walk up to his vehicle? Maybe I’m supposed to roll down my window and shout out my number to a man who I know nothing about, but who now has my telephone and possibly my license plate numbers. I wonder. Who does this approach work for?
(2) The Holy Roller Holla: So, I have nothing against meeting a nice guy in the House of the Lord. As a matter of fact, I welcome it, but please don’t try to holler during Sunday morning service. If he’s staring me down during the pastor’s sermon, he’s just showing me how severe his ADD really is. Can he at least wait until the benediction? If I’m gone before he can make his way across the sanctuary to my pew, maybe that’s God’s hand at work.
(3) The Handyman Holla: True story. A contractor was doing work on my house, and before I knew it, he was attempting to seduce me. He pulled out his phone, turned on some salsa music and tried to teach me some forbidden moves. Let me explain how uncomfortable this is. I’m home alone with an aggressive stranger who is displaying signs of sexual frustration. Honestly, his interest might have been better received if he were a bit more subtle. The attempt at physical contact – and his request that I put on high heels — put him over the top, and had me scanning the room for an item to use as a weapon if need be.
(4) The Wing-Man Holla: “My friend likes you.” This was cute in second grade, but unless said friend is mute, or he’s paying his sidekick by the hour, why can’t he approach the object of his affection himself? Right from jump, he’s giving a woman reason to question his sincerity.
(5) The Data Entry Holla: At some point the cell phones probably will come out and info will be exchanged. However, it’s not unheard of for a guy to shove a cell phone in a woman’s face and command, “Put your number in here.” That’s not horribly unacceptable if it follows some getting-to-know-you conversation, but when the guy doesn’t even bother to ask your name first, how could he be that into you? Seriously. Will he even know whose number it is the next time he’s flipping through his phone? What happened to making a connection first?
The truth is I really do sympathize with the fellas sometimes. What approaches work? It all depends on the people involved. Some girls may love the Wing-Man Holla. Maybe that contractor had luck dancing salsa with a single woman in the past. I don’t know, but I do know that when a guy attempts to make contact with a woman, it’s usually somewhat of a compliment. So, this SIS tries to be conscious of that and sometimes offers a wave back at the dude in the next car before I speed off.