Five Pick-Ups Men Should Avoid

I hate to be real critical on this point because if I were a dude and “burdened” with making the first move 90% of the time, I might run out of ideas about how to approach the opposite sex myself.

Luckily, I only have to worry about eye contact. 🙂

With that said, I want to list some approaches that I think men should avoid.

(1) The Drive-By Holla: So, I’m driving to work, and I happen to look to the right, or maybe I hear a honk, and a guy in the next car waves at me with a wink and a nod. So, even if he were cute, what is a girl supposed to do? Am I supposed to stop my car, get out and walk up to his vehicle? Maybe I’m supposed to roll down my window and shout out my number to a man who I know nothing about, but who now has my telephone and possibly my license plate numbers. I wonder. Who does this approach work for?

(2) The Holy Roller Holla: So, I have nothing against meeting a nice guy in the House of the Lord. As a matter of fact, I welcome it, but please don’t try to holler during Sunday morning service. If he’s staring me down during the pastor’s sermon, he’s just showing me how severe his ADD really is. Can he at least wait until the benediction? If I’m gone before he can make his way across the sanctuary to my pew, maybe that’s God’s hand at work.

(3) The Handyman Holla: True story. A contractor was doing work on my house, and before I knew it, he was attempting to seduce me. He pulled out his phone, turned on some salsa music and tried to teach me some forbidden moves. Let me explain how uncomfortable this is. I’m home alone with an aggressive stranger who is displaying signs of sexual frustration. Honestly, his interest might have been better received if he were a bit more subtle. The attempt at physical contact – and his request that I put on high heels — put him over the top, and had me scanning the room for an item to use as a weapon if need be.

(4) The Wing-Man Holla: “My friend likes you.” This was cute in second grade, but unless said friend is mute, or he’s paying his sidekick by the hour, why can’t he approach the object of his affection himself? Right from jump, he’s giving a woman reason to question his sincerity.

(5) The Data Entry Holla: At some point the cell phones probably will come out and info will be exchanged. However, it’s not unheard of for a guy to shove a cell phone in a woman’s face and command, “Put your number in here.” That’s not horribly unacceptable if it follows some getting-to-know-you conversation, but when the guy doesn’t even bother to ask your name first, how could he be that into you? Seriously. Will he even know whose number it is the next time he’s flipping through his phone? What happened to making a connection first?

The truth is I really do sympathize with the fellas sometimes. What approaches work? It all depends on the people involved. Some girls may love the Wing-Man Holla. Maybe that contractor had luck dancing salsa with a single woman in the past. I don’t know, but I do know that when a guy attempts to make contact with a woman, it’s usually somewhat of a compliment. So, this SIS tries to be conscious of that and sometimes offers a wave back at the dude in the next car before I speed off.


11 Responses to “Five Pick-Ups Men Should Avoid”

  1. January 29, 2010 at 3:52 am

    Ok Sis – what about the Bar Holla? I can appreciate a drink as much as the next woman, but one drink does not buy you an entire evening, especially if it is a shot that is gone within 5 seconds. He offers to buy you a drink, you accept, he pays, drink is delivered, you give out your name, he responds with his, you throw the tequila down, and it is done. Now he may shove the cellphone in your face, and just out of appreciation (it was a decent shot), you put in 708-555-shot and a ? as your name, give it back, turn around and continue the conversation with your girls. I suppose now I will think about the fact that I just might see him while stopped at a redlight. I’ll take your advice and nod then put the peddle to the metal.

    Thanks for sharing.

  2. 2 LaMonte
    January 29, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    Ok Miss. Obviously male input is needed here (& always is if things are to progress between the sexes). Always remember that we men rarely do anything that hasnt produced a pleasurable response. No matter how stupid. So know that there was at least one female that responded favorably to the “holla’s” mentioned.

  3. 3 Stan
    January 30, 2010 at 6:01 pm

    Ladies, you’re always quick to tell us brothas what you don’t like (and rightfully so many times) but what approaches did you like? And don’t be scared to admit you’re the one who stops for guys who honk from across the street, lol!

  4. January 31, 2010 at 11:54 am

    This is hilarious. Great post.

  5. 5 blackbarbiekj
    February 1, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    Wing Man Holla …that’s me!

    That just happened to me. A friend/coworker of mine ran into a friend at the office Christmas party (it was hosted outside of work). Her friend, seemed nice but later told her that he was interested in me.

    Now, if I was all that….LOL why can’t he approach me directly.

    We not in the second grade no more.

    Big turn off and he might have been the love of my life. LOL…. but I am going to need him to step to me directly.


  6. 6 La
    February 2, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    I usually lurk but this is SO on point, lol. Is it wrong that I automatically assume that any dude who employs The Drive-By Holla intends to trap me in his car and rob me should I so deign to walk over? That is the feeling that always leaves me with, lol.

  7. 7 dontodusk
    February 2, 2010 at 9:38 pm

    lamonte: so true.

    i was just telling a friend the exact same thing.

    I told her dont put any thing past dudes these days. I am starting to think just approaching some random chick is bordering on desperation no matter how smooth it is.

  8. February 3, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    lol..this post was funny.

  9. February 9, 2010 at 2:38 pm

    Number three was hilarious, sis. Funny what kind of weirdos are running around out there.

  10. May 11, 2010 at 6:06 pm

    This post was hilarious and I’ve been involved in all of the above mentioned. I am aware that obviously this has worked on someone because they wouldn’t do it.

  11. 11 Caregiver 1
    May 18, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    You know that while I can appreciate that this was your article and given to you to do as you wish, I couldn’t help but wonder why no performance elements are applicable to the female gender? This article serves as a fine example of this ongoing issue. You mentioned your relief with not having to initiate the interaction and provided a humorous flavor to a few of the more clumsy pick-up lines. But it would be wonderful to have a consistent flow of female focused articles that placed some of the responsibility of having a successful male-female encounters/relationships on the female side of the equation. In one of the posted replies, a female spoke of the “bar holla” where the guy offers her a drink. She knew that the guy wanted the drink to be the “price of admission” to her circle and she felt that eventhough the terms were known, she could modify them as she saw fit. An honest woman would have refused the drink and kept it moving rather than employing a “gulp and be gone” style. In order for this thing called dating to work, there has to be some integrity on the part of the women. If you(ladies)know what the intention(male)is and are fine with it, no pick up line is too clumsy and conversely if the lady is not feeing it, no line is smooth enough to pave over the hole. When was the last time that any requirement was placed on the female side of the dating game? Women are constantly told that the only thing that they have to do is to make themselves available and then choose which advance they will accept. And it is funny how often the pick-up line becomes insignificant when the man is of known financial means or celebrity. To the author, what failed pick-up line does that fall under? Peace

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