I was in a chat room recently, and while the participants were responding to the recent omnipresent news about the large number of single, professional sistahs, someone suggested that if women want to attract a man, they need not boast their independence.
Obviously, this comment struck a chord with me. I had to question, “What’s wrong with being proud of one’s independence?”
To me, being an independent woman means that you’re comfortable caring for yourself. You’re paying your own bills, feeding you and yours, holding down at least one job and keeping your home in order. Granted, that may not exactly be a selling point to every guy, but it’s certainly nothing to hide. Why shouldn’t an adult be able to care for herself?
I guess there is some room for clarification, though. Just because a woman is independent doesn’t mean there’s no room in her life for a man. Trust me. If there’s a guy willing to hang that picture or unclog that drain, most women would gladly hand over the hammer and Mr. Plumber.
However, knowing I can take care of myself means that when I do meet Mr. Right, I’ll be focused on his character, our compatibility and how he makes me feel, not so much on how many dirty jobs he can handle or the salary he’s bringing to the table. What I’d want from him is what only he could provide, not what I could hire a handyman to do.
If the day comes when this SIS settles into a serious relationship, it won’t be because I’m dependent on a man, but it will be because I met one in particular that I want to share my life with. Then maybe, his smile, sense of humor, listening ear and encouraging words are the things I’d become dependent on.