“It’s like survivor’s guilt but it strikes people who’ve partnered up and gotten hitched, leaving their equally deserving single friends with no one to spoon on frigid nights like these.” She asks, “Why should I be blessed with a guy who turns me on and tolerates my considerable freakiness when so many of my hotter, younger, and far nicer friends are still solo-and-searching?” (See entire article.)
Before I reacted to the article, I checked with some of my married friends to gauge how popular this sentiment was.
I’m happy to report that my friends feel no guilt about their married status, and I assured them that they should not.
The reasons why they shouldn’t feel guilt seem obvious. I’d compare it to feeling guilty that you have a house when your friend has a condo. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Does it?
What’s not so obvious are the reasons why a wife would feel guilty about her friend’s single status.
My only assumption is that the writer feels like married is a better state to be in. After all, who doesn’t want to spoon? (That was sarcasm.) As a friend, I guess she wants that “blessing” for her single gal pal, who seems to be ready to settle down. For the writer, it’s probably less like comparing a house to a condo and more like comparing a hoopty to a show-room floor Bentley.
However, this SIS tends to feel like singleness is just a different status, not necessarily an inferior one. I know some single women who agree with me and others who won’t be at peace until they’re hitched.
The truth is that it’s an individual call, but the majority of single women I know aren’t terribly focused on marriage. When it comes to relationships, they are more concerned with meeting a guy that adds something substantial to their lives and will make them even happier. Then and only then is the idea of walking down the aisle even entertained. Whether that does or does not happen, they are living fulfilling lives as solo sistahs.
Yeah, we date in the same way that a professionally satisfied exec might occasionally circulate the resume to see what else is out there. If something just right presents itself, then a new opportunity is welcome. If not, we’re fine just staying where we’re at.