30
Dec
09

Burying the Gold Digger Stereotype

I want to meet the gold diggers. I don’t know these women, but I hear a lot about them. Apparently, they date lots of guys – since several men have mentioned them to me – and these women allegedly place more emphasis on things like cars, one’s income and clothes than they do on what’s inside a person.

It’s worth repeating that I don’t know these women. My friends are Single Independent Sistahs, emphasis on “independent.” They’re not after a guy’s money. Like me, they’ve dated a wide range of guys with varying incomes, from lawyers and realtors to cops and teachers. The single women I know don’t care about cars. We’ve dated drivers of Volkswagens, Toyotas and even one or two dudes carrying bus passes.

So, I tend to get a little defensive when I meet a guy who complains that black women only date men with fancy rims on their cars and diamond-studded watches. That’s just not true, and it’s so far from my reality, I wonder where these guys are finding these women.

Seriously. I’d really like to know where these women are ‘cause I’d like to have a word with them. I’m just a tiny bit peeved about how they behave. Not only are they reinforcing negative stereotypes about black women, but they’re making it that much harder for the rest of us.

I’ve been hearing a lot from different men who are so scared of being taken advantage of by money-hungry sistahs that they throw a side eye at any woman who doesn’t jump to pay the bill on the first date. Yes, it has come to that, and I place at least part of the blame on the ladies with the shovels.

For the gold diggers, I only ask that you don’t misrepresent yourself. There are some men out there who will pay you for your company. They’ll buy you dinner just to be seen with you, and you don’t have to fake like you’re a real independent sistah. Deal with those dudes, not the guys who are looking for substantial relationships.

For the brothers, I want to help point out the difference between a level-headed woman who appreciates chivalry and a bonafide gold digger.

A “good” woman (yes, I’m categorizing myself as such) probably expects for the guy to pay for the first few dates. A gold digger expects him to pay for the dates, her wardrobe, nails and weave.

A genuine girl only continues to go out with men in whom she’s truly interested. A gold digger continues to go out with whoever will feed her and buy drinks for her and her friends.

An independent sistah doesn’t mind picking up the tab occasionally. A gold digger doesn’t mind you picking up the monthly payments on her house.

See the difference?

I hope that helps clarify because this SIS and her friends don’t want to be stereotyped as gold diggers anymore, and if it happens again, I will go find ‘em.

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4 Responses to “Burying the Gold Digger Stereotype”


  1. December 31, 2009 at 10:03 am

    WOMAN! You hit this one on the head. Once again, LOVE THE PHOTO!

    The funny thing is this: Gold diggers get the dates and attract the men. So, the priorities of the men are wrong. They like the muffin tops overflowing out of the shirts, the hair weaves, and the picture perfect, camera ready cake faces (love my stereotypes don’t you…lol) only to complain later and call women “fake.”

    I hope this message rings clearly to those who look for the exterior (both men and women). People need to dig beyond the surface after they take their sips of truth juice.

    Great job! Great job! Great job!

  2. 2 Machelle Thomas
    December 31, 2009 at 2:44 pm

    I am a happily proud black woman who can take care of her own and then some.I have never expected for a man to take care of me or to buy me anything unless he offers it on his own and then I still will not use him to get what I want.I’ve always have had my mind set to make sure you have something of your own in life.It will make you feel so good inside because sometimes coming into some kind of relationship with nothing makes that other person want to throw it back into your face.I’m just saying…But who’s judging.I’m just smiling…

  3. 3 TMJohnson
    January 4, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    Great post! Like you, I don’t have any friends who chase guys for money.

  4. 4 breakofdon
    January 16, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    I’ve been fortunate. Since I don’t drive a nice car and I never have any money my encounters with gold diggers are generally very brief. But they are out there. Most of them are in denial. They say things like “I just want a man who is stable” or “man who can do something for me” but that usually translates into “I want a man with money.”

    I must say that according to my limited observation the biggest gold diggers are broke. No surprise there.


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