26
Oct
09

Single for too long?

sofaThere’s a lot to appreciate about the single life. You can go where you want to go without checking in with anyone. Financial decisions are autonomous, and – one of the best aspects – you have total control over the remote.

That’s not to say it’s all roses, but for many of us, living alone doesn’t take too long to get used to. I wonder. How long does it take to get over it?

After years of the freedom that singleness brings, is there such a thing as being single for too long? Do people get to a place where they’re set in their ways and sharing life with a partner is just too much of an adjustment?

I wonder that as I notice that every closet in my house is full. I contemplate the question when I ignore the ringing phone ‘cause I don’t feel like talking. I think about it when I get up before 5 a.m. to update my resume or write a new blog entry.

How much would a relationship change my life? Would I have to downsize the wardrobe? How do you force yourself to have a conversation if you’re not in the mood? Is it rude to wake up before the sun rises if your man is still asleep?

How hard would it be for “me” to become a “we”?

I’ve heard various things from my married friends. Some eased into the coupled lifestyle easily. Others might prefer an on-and-off switch for their mates.

The good news is that even those who may miss some of the independence of singleness feel they’ve gotten more in return.

So, that may very well be the secret: partnering with someone whose greatness outweighs the benefits of being single.

From what I observe, it takes a lot to combine two lives and make it work, but when it does work, sharing the remote seems like a small sacrifice in return.

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2 Responses to “Single for too long?”


  1. November 17, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    I think this may be one of the reasons why people are staying single longer. Once we found out how comfortable it could be to live alone, some of us became reluctant to give that up or at least less eager to find someone we’d have to compromise for. Sometimes I think we DO get too comfortable in our solitude, at least when the end goal is to find a partner. Those of us who are single by choice don’t have to worry about that, but people who hope to meet someone special can fall into the trap of dismissing anyone who might interfere with their morning ritual or make them pick up their dirty socks.

    I’m one of those girls who wishes I could find a part-time partner, someone I could send on his way when I was ready for some peace and quiet again! I think you’re right, though, that when you find the right person, it’s usually such a joy to be together that you don’t mind making some adjustments to your living space. At least, I think that’s the way it works for most people. Some are just so solitary by nature that they have a hard time sharing space with anyone no matter what.

  2. 2 Machelle Thomas
    November 25, 2009 at 11:22 pm

    It had taken me so long to appreciate myself to and from of living the single woman lifestyle because I was just not feeling it!but what made me accept what this was, that I was going through, was very real and normal for me at this moment and to continue on this way.Until I just have to wait on my Savior Jesus Christ,because he knows and only wants the best for me here and now!I am just smiling…


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