Re-examining the Deal Breakers


Some people suggest that I’m still single because I have high standards. I won’t disagree with that. It wasn’t long ago that my list of deal breakers and pet peeves reached from the floor to the ceiling. Anyone with horrible grammar, dirty nails, a four-syllable last name, who admired Lil Wayne or didn’t know at least the first verse of “Rapper’s Delight” was automatically eliminated as a potential candidate.

I’m a few years older (and hopefully wiser), and my steady streak of singleness has me wondering if those standards may be a bit too restricting. It’s not that I don’t think men with clean nails and proper grammar exist. I’ve met a few. However, maybe I could learn to love a guy who only knows the chorus of “Rapper’s Delight” and makes a sincere attempt at subject-verb agreement.

So now, I’m rethinking some of the less important, arguably superficial, qualities I look for in a man. There are those small things that annoy us, and then there are the true deal breakers, like if he doesn’t want children or if he disrespects women. Those are things on which I refuse to compromise.

Still, I’m scared it might be a slippery slope. First, I date a guy who admires Lil Wayne, and the next thing you know, I’m dating a 50-year-old cross dresser who lives in his mother’s basement.

Where does the “compromise” end? Is that what people mean when they warn single women not to settle?

In a perfect world, a guy would fit perfectly into my mold, and vice versa. I’d fit every trait and characteristic on his list, and he mine. There’d be no pet peeves or petty annoyances to overlook. We’d share all the same common interests, and absolutely love each other’s company.

However, it’s not a perfect world, and no individuals are perfect. The most I can hope for is a guy who’s perfect for me, and although crusty toes and a fondness for mimes are not ideal, the fellow may be just right for me where it really counts.


1 Response to “Re-examining the Deal Breakers”

  1. 1 spchrist2
    October 27, 2009 at 7:19 pm

    lmao@ “It wasn’t long ago that my list of deal breakers and pet peeves reached from the floor to the ceiling.”

    I’m scared to ask for the full list…but if your list truly goes from the floor to the ceiling…you probably need to make some revisions. Because very few men are going to have all those qualifications.

    Think of the absolutes that you must have…and keep it simple…you have to leave some margin of error…because no one is perfect.

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