14
Oct
09

Give That Man an Ultimatum!

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We all know that celebrities are treated a bit differently in society. They go to posh resorts to serve out jail sentences and although they have more money than most of us, they get lots of stuff for free.

So, when I read about the courtship of Kellie Williams, formerly of “Family Matters,” I wondered whether her “strategy” worked because of her star status, or whether other single women should follow her lead.

According to the story, after only two weeks of dating, Williams laid down the law. Her exact words, “You’re either my boyfriend, or this is the last time we’re going to talk.”

The guy married her.

I know few women who are willing to be so bold after only two weeks of dating. Their reasons for not broaching the subject are varied. (1) They’re not yet sure that’s what they want. (2) They don’t want to scare the guy off. (3) They don’t want to seem desperate. (4) They want the guy to be the aggressor.

However, Laura Winslow’s situation did make me wonder, when is a good time to let a guy know you’re ready for a commitment?

Most folks seem to feel like a discussion about the relationship’s future is warranted after about two months. Guys I know agree that a man doesn’t need any longer to decide he wants exclusivity. If he hasn’t brought it up, he’s probably not that into you.

In Laura’s case, her now-husband found her forwardness attractive. I doubt the average SIS would get that reaction from an eligible guy. In my experience, people prefer not to be rushed when it comes to commitments, and rushing them usually only brings about a speedy exit.

However, there’s something to be said for putting it all out there and keeping it real. In Kellie/Laura’s case, that something was “I do.”

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2 Responses to “Give That Man an Ultimatum!”


  1. 1 blackbarbiekj
    October 15, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    I was always taught, “let a man be a man.” … Meaning let the man lead.

    But …. it is 2009 and maybe that is why I am single. Maybe I need to step my game up like ole girl from Family Matters. 🙂

    It worked for her but I think the average sista would not receive the same response.

    If a woman brings up “exclusivity” first, then is she pushy? desperate? Will it send the man packing in the other direction? And if so, will you be upset or OK with the fact that you didn’t waste another year or two to see where you stand.

    I think the article hits it right on the head when it says “if the man is interested he will bring it up….” basically, if he not that interested in you, then he won’t bring it up.

    I think it depends on the situation and the personality of the people involved. I will try this the next time I am really dating someone and let ya’ll know how it goes down! LOL

  2. 2 uptildon
    November 28, 2009 at 1:06 am

    I dunno. Ultimatums seem like a good way to remain single. If honey is layin down ultimatums after two weeks brother might be in for a lifetime of ultimatums. And the minute he figures that out he gonna draw the line. Then what?


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