Why Are You Single?


All of us have answered questions that we thought were inappropriate, or asked questions that resulted in unfavorable reactions. Just last week, I asked a close friend whether she was happy with her outfit. She took it as an insult. My bad. I’ve been asked whether my hair is real. It is. I’ve been asked about my monthly mortgage. To answer that question, I borrow a saying from one of my cousins, “You’re worried about the wrong thing.”

Luckily, we don’t all have the reaction that this poor woman from VH1’s “Tough Love” had. She clearly overacted, and her date was clearly clueless; however, I know more than a few women who’ve been slightly irked when asked the same question with which she was confronted.

“Why are you single?”

I believe it’s supposed to be a compliment. I think it’s a person’s way of stating, “I don’t see any obvious reason why someone hasn’t taken the time to sweep you off your feet”, but it’s such a loaded question that this SIS usually offers up a generic answer, “I just haven’t met the right person.” Any answer more in depth usually turns the conversation in an unpleasant direction. If you don’t believe me. Watch the video.

I wonder what people expect when they ask that question. Are answers like, “chronic halitosis” or “I’m too busy feeding my cats to worry about dating,” more in line with what the poser wants to hear? I try not to think about it too much. I chalk it up to a not-well-thought-out compliment and keep it movin’.


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October 2009
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