What Do Dating Sites Offer?

Dating someone with whom you have common interests makes perfect sense. If you’re a sci-fi geek enthusiast, finding a mate who appreciates aliens and paranormal activities not only means you’ll likely enjoy the same movies and TV shows, but also that your significant other won’t ridicule you for suggesting the two of you attend the Star Trek convention.

However, after noticing the scores of different dating sites out there geared toward folks who share the same profession or hobbies, I wondered if singles who use these sites are being smart, by looking for someone who understands their passions, or ridiculous for putting so much emphasis on those things that have little to do with one’s character.

Is it self-centered to search for a guy on WeBothLikeSteak.com just to limit the chances that you’ll ever be pressured to eat a veggie burger?

Sure, it’s good to be on the same page about certain things, but isn’t it also good to expand your horizons, be challenged and grow?

Then again, maybe I’m reading too much into it. Maybe it is just about recreational activities and bonding over something that you both enjoy.

That beats the alternatives which are (1) your partner learning to tolerate love something in which he wasn’t initially interested or (2) you finding someone outside of your romantic relationship to hang with when you’re enjoying your favorite activity.

However, there’s also the possibility that it’s about acceptance.

If you’re a wine connoisseur who has endured criticism from a non-drinking potential suitor, you might decide to avoid that sting in the future by just dating people you know won’t judge you. If he’s just as into wine tastings and trips to the vineyard as you are, then you’ve eliminated that issue. He gets it.

In the end, isn’t that what most folks want out of a relationship: someone who accepts and understands their quarks and loves them anyway?

What Your Naked Pic Really Reveals

By now, you’ve probably seen the naked photo of R&B star Chris Brown that was allegedly “leaked” by one of his exes.

Whether or not the photo was released by an ex or Chris himself is still in question, but it’s obvious that he’s the one who snapped the cell phone shot.

Seemingly alone and somewhat aroused, Chris felt the moment needed to be immortalized digitally. So, he did what any Atlanta pastor with a Jheri-curl would do, and he went to the bathroom to admire himself – and thought, “Why keep this to myself?”

How selfless.

I’m not going to overanalyze the situation, but here are five reasons why this is whack (not just for superstars).

1. It’s vain: I hope that everyone out there likes something about his or her appearance. I hope you love your height, or your smooth skin or your smile. Love you, but know that there is a line, and when you are overcome with the desire to share your assets with others – who probably haven’t asked – you’ve crossed the line from a healthy self-perception to narcissism.

2. It’s distracting: I’m sure the image of Chris’ naked body was distracting to many people – male and female – in several different ways. However, it’s clear that Chris, whose new album is coming out later this month, was not in the studio, writing songs, practicing dance moves or even taking anger management courses when he took the photo. Instead of working on his craft or himself, he was – as one of my cousins always says – worrying about the wrong thing.

3. It’s average: I mean, if you’re going to take a photo of yourself buck naked and send it out into the viral world, it should be something outstanding, unprecedented, awe-inspiring and unforgettable, in my opinion. I’m no expert, but I didn’t see anything that warranted a snapshot. One could argue that Chris is just another guy. His mega-career doesn’t guarantee a mega-member. I agree, but that begs the question: Why? Why take a photo at all?

4. It’s desperate: Are you looking for approval? Validation? Sex? Get a grip. I guess hundreds of fans posting flattering comments about your physique is an ego booster, but if you’re in need of a boost that big, then there might be other issues at hand. Instead of simply revering your reflection, a Stuart Smalley mirror moment might be more beneficial.

5. It’s dangerous. It’s a slippery slope. Once you start snapping and distributing nude photos of yourself, how far away are you from an actual sex tape? Is it like a gateway activity that leads to more risqué public behavior? How long will it be before he’s making out with women on a VH1 reality show, displaying no shame or self-control at all? Wait. I think I slipped into a Ray J rant.

To be clear, I’m not discouraging physically fit men from posting their nude photos online or texting them to ex-girlfriends, but know that more than just the goodies are being revealed. Such actions can offer a peek into one’s psyche, and although you can never really know what’s going on in someone else’s head, putting yourself out there like that, suggests quite a bit.